What 2020 taught me about resiliency: What effect does the covid-19 pandemic have on people’s personal lives?
Hang On Tight…
I don’t think anyone knew when we started the new year in 2020 how wacky and out of sorts it would become?
It was simply a new year that we were excited and looking forward to a fresh and clean start.
I remember thinking to myself that, “2020 has to be better than 2019.”
In fact, my mother said the same thing. “Please be better than 2019.”
Why? Because March of 2019 was the year that my sister Gina had taken her life. Not only did we 2020 to be a new calendar year, but we also needed it to be a clean and fresh start for our own healing.
Expect and Anticipate Changes
As our family approached the 1 year anniversary of my sister’s death, there were definitely mixed emotions and feelings.
We all missed Gina.
But there was a sort of heaviness that as the day got closer, we expected and also didn’t anticipate.
What do I mean by expected and also didn’t anticipate?
For example, the day of my sister’s one-year anniversary, I wanted to have us all meet up at the cemetery and share moments as a family together of Gina.
BUT, funny thing is, I only shared this idea with my mother. Which was fine and dandy but this was something that needed to be planned in advance.
It couldn’t be “sprung” on people at the last minute. Because people had to take time away from work or make arrangements to simply be there and show up for this occasion. So if I can offer any insight for how to best prepare as you approach the 1 year anniversary, It would be to expect heaviness that day.
AND, Also to be flexible in your plans if they do change. Because guess what? There is a good chance that they will…
2020 Meant New Beginnings
It meant that we even though we were still heartbroken over my sister’s passing, 2020 was full of possibilities for how we were going to remember our sister.
I decided to go out and celebrate my birthday!
I usually don’t go out to celebrate it…But not this year! (2020) Me, my husband and a bunch of friends went to an escape room. I highly recommend it if you haven’t gone. It was so much fun!
We All Know What Happened Next
Of course it is no surprise that the entire world was changed overnight by the end of March. But it showed me what it truly meant to be and become a person who demonstrates resilience and acts resilient. We had to weather out the storm – both internally and externally.
Internally, we were facing inner conflicts that had been “brewing” for quite some time. For instance, In my own life, we had just come to the 1 year anniversary of my sister’s passing. This meant for me, I had some decisions to make as far as a career path.
I told myself that I would give myself the “gift of pause” and take the entire year of 2019 off to heal after my sister’s death. Only after having a year of healing, would I allow myself to go and look for a job in my field that I graduated in healthcare administration.
Externally, we were all trying to navigate this new territory and unseen future.
There were so many changes in 2020- both as a country(U.S.) and on a global scale. All of these changes were dramatically shifting. Sometimes on a daily basis…
If you did loose a loved one by suicide in 2020, you know that there was an uptick in suicide rates and completions in 2020. My friend sent me an article saying that by May 2020, it was reported that there were more suicide attempts than there were reported cases of the pandemic.
There were literally suicide hashtags that were created saying things like #suicideduringpandemic and other similar hashtags.
So heartbreaking to read these articles and see hashtags like these… The effects are still current even today years later.
What does resilience look like? Maybe for you, it looks like simply getting out of bed each morning. Or, going for a walk?
What I learned was resilience looks like to me was what I call “Filling up your cup.”
Filling up my cup looks like going for a walk, drinking water, and releasing pent up anger and feelings.
This allows you to build resiliency. Everyone in my life has a straw. Family, Friends, Coworkers, they all get a straw. I need to find ways to refill my cup.
Otherwise, I become one hot mess! So how about you?
How do you refill your cup?
I want to know!
Can’t wait to read all the comments and ways you refill your cup.
We can always find new and unexpected ways to be and act resilient everyday.
- Give yourself the gift of pause.
- Being able to build up your resilient muscle.
- Being able to build up your resilient muscle. Building up resiliency truly looks like both internally and externally.
- How you can face these inner conflicts and the external conflicts in your life by reminding yourself that you are whole, you are complete, you lack nothing?
- This is what resiliency is, this is how we can build it up, this is how we can refill our cup, and being able to find new and unexpected ways to not only demonstrate resiliency in our everyday life, but by doing this so we can also show others what being resilient looks. How we can show up for others, how we can be that bright light in such a dark world.