September is Suicide Prevention Month

If you are experiencing a suicide crisis and need help now! Call or Text the Suicide Lifeline 988. For more about this new hotline number: 988lifeline.org

Before beginning today’s topic, I wanted to take a moment and share it from my heart.

I know what it is like to feel left out. I know what it is like to be bullied.

To feel like there is something “wrong” with me when there absolutely wasn’t a single thing wrong about me. Feeling like parts of myself needed to be “fixed” or, Felt broken inside. 

If this is how you feel right now, friend, let me gently and lovingly remind you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

No parts of you need to be “fixedYou are beautiful and uniquely you! Just the way you are!

In fact, This is what I love about you! Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Crystal, we’ve never met?” “How could you say that is what you love about me?” But friend,  I do know you! I may not have met you in person or talked with you on the phone. We may not have gotten coffee together or gone to the same school. But, I do know you. You and I Are Alike, You and I are alike in many ways. 

Why do I say this? Because deep down we are so much alike than we will ever be different from one another. Yes, maybe you grew up on the East coast in a rough neighborhood and I grew up in Utah. You were raised by a single parent and I am the youngest of 8 siblings. We all bleed red.

As the classic children’s book reminds us, “Everyone Poops.” I just wanted to remind you as you read this that this universal truth, that we are deep down more alike than we will ever be different, not, that “everyone poops,”… that when we are brave enough to share that we are struggling, it’s when we allow courage to enter into the equation that wasn’t there before. We begin to see that there is hope for a brighter tomorrow, and it can come one day at a time.

Finding a Safe Place 

Help Looks Like. Help can come in so many different forms. For example, help could look like speaking up! Telling the cold, hard truth that you have been struggling and not just struggling for a day or two…Help could look like a friend who you have always been close with? or, It could be someone who you feel safe with? Who you could share your deepest secrets with and they aren’t going to look at you like you have 2 heads? You know the classic “deer in the headlights” look that I’m referring to? Choose someone who doesn’t have to understand but is willing to get you the help and support you need

Some other examples of reaching out for help are:

  • Therapist
  • Physicians
  • Lifeline
  • Reid Peterson founder of Grief Refuge app
  • Local emergency room
  • This could be a friend’s couch.
  • Maybe a local church
  • Even a shelter group. 

If you don’t feel comfortable in your own home, please seek refuge that is safe and comfortable immediately! Because your safety and wellbeing matter!

Finding a Safe Place Includes People

I also want to mention that as we are on the topic of finding a safe place, this does include people. What do I mean? You know the people in your life who love you unconditionally and want nothing but the best for you. If you don’t have someone in your life who loves you unconditionally and wants nothing but the best for you, believe that I do! I want this for you! Find other people who want this for you too. Try to distance yourself from those people who steal your love and energy. I like to call them “energy vampires” Just something to be mindful of. 

Another good friend and mentor Carey Conley used the visual of “balcony” Who needs to be banished to the balcony of your life?

Remember that this is for your healing…No one else can decide who gets to stay in your “front row” as Carey suggests. Only you get to choose. How to Heal After a Suicide Attempt.

In an earlier post, I spoke about one of my speakers from the Healing After Suicide summit that I had the privilege of hosting in July. She spoke openly about her suicide attempt and coming home from the hospital things had to slow down dramatically. She could no longer keep going at the pace that she was before the suicide attempt. Everything that wasn’t necessary for her to simply “survive” was eliminated. To read more about this previous post, You can find it here.

Here are Mequell’s suggestions and a few of my own on how to heal after a suicide attempt are:

  • Discovering the reasons why you attempted first: remember this isn’t room for judgment. 
  • Seek support, love, and care
  • Have compassion towards yourself
  • Reevaluate what needs to go away
  • What do you need to feel well?
  • Your self-care just became the #1 priority
  • Find things that bring moments of happiness and joy back into your everyday life. (Dr. Sauer from another previous discussion said that she look forward to looking out at the window and watching the birds)

I am reminded of how a friend of mine when we first met, shared about her own suicide attempts… She said, “I want to remind people just how beautiful this life can truly be.” 

I could not agree with her more! I hope that if you are struggling and beginning to heal after your own suicide attempt you can remember her words. “How beautiful this life can truly be.” Let’s find the beautiful things in life and focus on this.

Love Notes: 

  • Please seek out a safe place and go to your nearest emergency room.
  • 988 Suicide Lifeline Crisis or go to https://988lifeline.org/
  • 1-800-273-8255 Suicide Prevention Lifeline
  • She said, “I want to remind people just how beautiful this life can truly be.” 
  • finding a safe place, this does include people.
  • Help can come in so many different forms.

For more information about suicide prevention be sure to check www.owlandthistle.com and if you want to find helpful tips, information, and tools if you lost a loved one to suicide or had a suicide attempt please visit www.scatteringhope.com.

Love,

Crystal Partney 💜

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