Make a plan for healing 2023

It is no surprise or a secret, that whenever we begin a new year, everyone starts thinking of goals and what their new year’s resolutions are going to be.  Maybe for you, it’s exercising more frequently? (Doesn’t everyone have this on their list?)

Or perhaps, this is the year that you are finally going to not have as much sugar and replace it with healthy snacks and treats?

But what about when it comes to your mental health?

Goals for Your Mental Wellbeing

What goals and new year’s resolutions are you setting for yourself in terms of your mental wellbeing?

I have to be completely honest, after my sister passed away, the idea of taking care of my “headspace” wasn’t something that I thought about. 

And chances are neither have you…

But it doesn’t have to be this way!

What if instead, we created a plan to heal this year?

Creating Your Plan To Heal This Year

A plan, not just in terms of our grief, but, our overall healing after suicide.

What might that look like for you?

I know for me, what it looked like was probably very different from what it might look like for you…

Or, anyone else for that matter. 

It Should Look Different 

Just as a side note,  It(healing) should look different for each of us. Why?

Because! I am not you, and you are not me. We all experience our own “flavor” when it comes to grief and loss in general. But, I would say that suicide adds a whole other dimension that I never saw coming. I bet you didn’t either?

Dimension and Complexity

Trust me, I have experienced loss before of loved ones passing away…

But to lose my sister in the nature that I did, was something that left me feeling more aloneconfusedand downright complete sadness unlike anything I had never experienced before. 

Wouldn’t You Agree?

Maybe you are nodding your head in agreement? I only assume that your answer is, yes?

Your reply is another reason why I wrote my 30-Day Journal.

It walks someone through the first 30 days of losing a loved one to suicide and beyond that first month. Like you, I needed a place to start. I needed a plan. 

I wasn’t sure how it would look or feel?

Details Didn’t Matter as Much As…

But really, the details honestly didn’t even matter. What mattered to me was that I started and created a plan for healing. 

That is exactly what I would wish for you. A plan that could guide you and your family to healing after losing your loved one to suicide. 

Wanted Me to Grieve

Because let’s be honest, I felt my friends  and family cared, and wanted me to grieve…

But, what I was missing was a guideSomeone who had been there, done that… ( so to speak…)

And, ultimately it boiled down to my OWN decision to heal after this tragedy. NO ONE, 

And I do mean, no one could’ve made that choice for me. I had to be the one to say, “Okay, I don’t have a freakin clue how to begin healing from this tragedy, but lord willing, I MUST start somewhere.” 

Why Do I Say, “Must”?

Because I didn’t fully understand this until I had to explain to my then 3 year-old daughter, that her aunt Gina had passed away and how. 

You see, she, in the most loving and gentle way possible, was looking to me for answers. This was her first experience with death.

Now, she has experienced death after my sister’s, mainly the loss of a dear pet.

Her First real, Raw Experience 

But my sister’s passing was the first real, raw experience for her when it came to the topic of death and dying

Perhaps, like me, you too have little ones at home and you are now faced with how to explain this tragedy to them?

Can I be honest when I say there are no rules here?

But, if I may be cautious about saying anything, it is this: Tell the truth. Now, please hear me when I can say with full disclosure, that I did tell the truth to my daughter when she asked why aunt Gina had died…

However, I did not go into detail about how she died. That, in my opinion, was off-limits. And, I refused to explain to her as a 3 year-old, the details that I felt were not only inappropriate given her age, but also unnecessary. 

In summary for making a plan for healing this year, I would say consider the following and think about adding these ideas to your goals as we start this new year together:

  • Starting small- try my 30-day journal and remember, you can always refer back to it whenever you need to, regardless of the timeframe. 
  • Decide for yourself that you want to begin the healing process. 
  • Always be kind to yourself as you begin and find what works for you.
  • Choose how you are going to talk about their death when others ask.
  • I would also add, maybe you don’t follow the calendar when you are first starting out. Because this may become a painful reminder as time goes on, but again, see what is working for you. 
  • Always adjust as needed. No plan is perfect and that’s fine.

As I wrap up, I wanted to leave you with some words of encouragement. 

Friend, You CAN DO THIS!

It is most definitely going to be rough patches throughout your journey, 

But, that is to be expected

If you are ever in a place where you find yourself asking, “Can I still do this?”

The answer is most certainly, “YES!” 

I’m cheering you on, and loving on you every small step from here on out. 

Love Notes:
  • I’m loving on you and cheering you on every small step you decide to take from here on out. 
  • Want to walk together, I’d love to invite you to schedule a Hope and Healing Plan session. You can do this brief 30-minute session here. 
  • My 30 Day Journal gives you the next steps forward.
  • I had to decide if I truly wanted to heal. 
  • Goals for your mental wellbeing. What are yours?

Love,

Crystal 

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